my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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