There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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