Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
