u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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