fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize