Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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