If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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