DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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