Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
