Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
