I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
