We won't sleep together?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
