You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
