You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
