the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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