and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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