Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
