I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
