Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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