I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
