No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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