don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
