I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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