i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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