Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
