my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
