What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
