Barsexuality is the new black.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
