I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
