haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am spending my child support on dildos
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
