It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
