I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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