Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
