i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
