I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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