I wannas sexs uuuuu
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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