She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it was like eating out sand paper
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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