After last night, I could never be a politician.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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