lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
