you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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