I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
