Already got asked if we're dating
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
