Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You're completely useless in the revolution.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
