im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
