she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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