why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I touched a dick in church today
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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