you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize