Nicole vs. Life
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
