It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
