your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
