420 ftw
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
