So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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