Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
