ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He has the fingertips of a God
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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