i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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