Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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