Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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