Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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