Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
