Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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