There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
