i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
