I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
