dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize