Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
