My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
