Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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