it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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