Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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