therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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