i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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