So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
