i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
