so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
