what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm too high and old for this...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
