we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
